truth under a blanket of trees

i wrote part of this entry a while back and decided to add to it today:

during my lunch break today i found myself reclined in my car, looking up through the sunroof. massive, colorful, leave-filled trees consumed my view. it was pretty magnificent. the sun shone through the branches onto my face. it felt magical. under that blanket of trees many truths rang clear.

sometimes you know something, but it just becomes so clear and evident in certain moments. this happens most often for me in nature, outside the noise of this world and everything it tries to convince me is truth. it was made absolutely clear to me again today that i want to be no where other than the presence of God. it seems rather pathetic that i have to be reminded of this. every glimpse i catch of Him astounds me. there are moments where He literally takes my breath away. the amazing part is...i know i have yet to see so much of Him. my mind just cannot fathom.

"for He dwells in unapproachable light"

another truth: i get distracted by the noise. things, goals, and worldly prizes all deceive me into thinking they are or great importantance. i buy into their lies. i even feel deceived by my own self. i can be so foolish in the way that i spend my time and money. i can be so stubborn in the relationships i have been blessed with. i am so incredibly selfish with my every thought and action. i struggle with having pure motives in any act of service that i do.

it's amazing how fiction can have such a powerful influence. a fictional, young servant named Hadassah has convicted me. i see her pure motives, her humility, her lack of desire for worldly things, her dependence on Yeshua...and it's beautiful.

which leads me to another thing God has done in the past seven months. He has redefined, once again, the word beauty to me. beauty is not a well-polished face. the world confuses me into thinking that beauty is something i can attain through makeup, working out, or a new outfit. those things don't even scratch the surface...in fact...many times those things work to cover the surface of beauty. beauty is found in the imperfect. it is found in moments of laughter over an awkward or clutzy moment (yes, it can be found in clutziness ;). beauty is found in real conversation. beauty is found in the smile, and strength, of someone who has overcome cancer. beauty is found in humility. it is found in generosity wanting no credit. it is found in choosing to not speak evil of another (be it a celebrity or someone you pass on the street). it is found in choosing to love though you’ve been wronged. it is found in a marriage that has been fought for. it is found in silence. it is found in genuine hugs. it is found in the awe of nature. it is found in genuineness and authenticity. it is found in breaking free from an addiction’s hold. it is found in compassion. it is found in reconciling a friendship. it is found in brokenness. it is found in the pursuit of God. so why do i find myself putting more effort into the former things?

"so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life"

"He has told you, o man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"